What to Do — and Not Do — When Someone You Love Has an Eating Disorder
DO:
- remove yourself from the problem and allow the sufferer to make choices about her behavior unencumbered by power struggles and control battles
- accept your limitations!
- accept the other person's right to an independent life
- allow each each household member to decide individually what he or she will or will not eat
- be willing to negotiate household chores involving food
- hold the eating-disordered person is responsible for her behavior whenever it affects others
- ask!
DON'T:
- take charge
- purchase (or avoid purchasing) food solely to accommodate the eating-disordered person
- force family members to eat or restrict what can be eaten
- make mealtimes a battleground
- monitor someone else's behavior for them (even if you are invited to)
- be the "food police"
- use money to control another person's eating behavior
- anticipate someone else's needs
- make eating out a battle of wills
- play therapist
- offer advice or opinions
- comment about someone's weight and looks
