"Do's" and "Don'ts" for Friends and Family

What To Do When Someone You Love Has an Eating Disorder

DO:

• remove yourself from the problem and allow the sufferer to make choices about her behavior unencumbered by power struggles and control battles
• accept your limitations!
• accept the other person's right to an independent life
• allow each each household member to decide individually what he or she will or will not eat
• be willing to negotiate household chores involving food
• hold the eating-disordered person is responsible for her behavior whenever it affects others
• ask!

DON'T:

• take charge
• purchase (or avoid purchasing) food solely to accommodate the eating-disordered person
• force family members to eat or restrict what can be eaten
• make mealtimes a battleground
• monitor someone else's behavior for them (even if you are invited to)
• be the "food police"
• use money to control another person's eating behavior
• anticipate someone else's needs
• make eating out a battle of wills
• play therapist
• offer advice or opinions
• comment about someone's weight and looks